It’s Going to Be Okay… Isn’t It?

2009 July 27
tags: , ,
by betsy

Email from 18 February 2009

Kim,

So glad to hear that you agree with me! :)

I always like to have a nemesis! Not only is it fun to say you have a nemesis, but I find it also gives me extra inspiration when I need it… even if it sounds ridiculous. It also reminds me that life isn’t all so serious because you sound like you’re in a cartoon, “My nemesis will never get the best of me!”

I also like the idea of starting with the tweets. Yesterday I hung out with a friend of mine who wants to start a bakery, but is too scared to do it. It’s something I literally hear all the time. I don’t why so many of us are stuck in this holding pattern… although I guess deep down I know exactly why we are stuck, it’s just weird that there are so many stuck people! If this continues, the retirement home is going to be full of especially bitter people who never went for their dreams! Yikes!

I especially struggle with not being overwhelmed with all the things I have to do. I have projects I’m doing with other people, my own stuff, projects that needed to be done ages ago, 5 email addresses, and craft stuff. I need to figure a way to organize it better so I’m not constantly worried about which one I should start and then get nothing done! And I love doing all of those things, because it allows for awesome dialogue and fits my ADD brain really well.

And as for freelancing, if I’m going to really do it, I need to figure out how many things I need to take on at once. It seems like I’d need to be writing 5 or 6 articles at the same time each month, but surely there must be a better way?

I feel like I’ve written about craft and culture and the handmade for so long, and that there’s really nothing I can do with it. I can tell other peeps what they should do and come up with 8,000 ideas for them but when it comes down to me, I’m stuck short. If only there was a way for people to pay me to come up with ideas for them?

And all of these things are I think things that need to be addressed honestly. Not necessarily in an “I’m really neurotic and worried” sense but in an honest, this is what happens to everyone but no one’s admitting it way. I’m also down with letters! It’s just a really nice format. I’m not sure really in what direction it would go, but I’m thinking it would work itself out?

Sorry this is so all over the place, it’s kind of how my head is lately. I think a ton of it is that I’m so worried about money that it’s almost hard to breathe lest move forward. But I also know that “this, too, shall pass” and am comforted by the fact that I’m not alone in all this and just want to go hug all the people who still think it’s just them worrying with no idea where to go. We just all need to get unstuck and told it’s going to be okay.

x
betsy

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  • Oh, Betsy. You truly are an ADD girl after my own heart. :) You are not alone with all those ideas rolling around in your brain - sometimes I even get started on those ideas but mostly they end up neglected.

    For me, the "holding pattern" was being so afraid of putting my stuff out there for the world to see. Suffice it to say I have major self-esteem issues. I opened my Etsy shop in February (as a seller and not a buyer first!) and it took me almost 3 whole months to work up enough gumption in order to put my items up in my shop. The first official opening day I felt completely nauseous and continued to have stomach problems for a few days afterwards. Now I am in the same holding pattern regarding my embroidered pillows that I want to put up in my shop. *sigh*

    I can't remember how the generations are clumped together age-wise but I'm 34. My parents didn't have much money while I was small but they made sure that I didn't feel it. I guess I did grow up spoiled but somewhere along the line I did learn that a job is a job is a job and that no job is below you if you have a family to take care of. Well, except hooking, that is. But I do see others my age (and even older!) bitching about not having enough money to live the lifestyle they think they deserve or about not being able to find a job comparable to their previous one.

    Here's my poorly neglected little blog to give you an idea of where I'm at and how wordy I can get. ;)
    http://abbyandgrr.blogspot.com/
  • I'm definitely relating to the "stuck" end of things. At 27 most previous generations were secure in their jobs and their life, but I think our generation kind of got screwed in a way. So many of us are floating and not sure where to go or what to do. And we certainly don't have the money to do the things we want.

    Or.. we don't have that kind of knowledge to know how much money we'll need. Being jobless has it's ups and downs. On the one hand you have the freedom to do things you might not otherwise have time to do (in between job searching of course), but on the other you don't have the income to feel totally secure just running off and chasing a dream.

    I think I might muse more on this on my own blog...
  • I'm beginning to wonder (for me, at least) if "stuck" is nothing but a
    euphemism for "scared."

    I read someone once that our gen is screwed b/c we were told we could
    do anything and grew up in a boom economy. Thus, we never realized
    that sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get where you wanna be.

    Yes, muse away on your blog! I'd love to read it!
  • Definitely agree and kind of delved into that here - http://fallenpeach.blogspot.com

    Some of us also are spoiled and want to be happy in their job which makes it hard to do whatever you gotta do to get by, which is also sometimes necessary in order to save up to get where you really want to be.
  • Thanks for chiming in!

    It's funny because just today I was talking to a friend of mine and
    said, "Everyone always talks about how "Nothing is perfect." And in
    saying that, we gloss over the real hard truth of the matter, "Some
    things are going to suck, even if your "perfect" job/life/career."

    We gotta realize that being "happy" doesn't mean 100% happy, because
    that's not so achievable in this world where we're supposed to learn
    things.
  • And yes, the money issue is a heavy constraint for all of us, I think. Following your bliss, I think , creates an open door for all the influences you need to progress. Then things just come...

    Easy for me to be the philospher when I'm having a strong, confident morning -- I will need you to feed this stuff back to me soon enough, I'm sure.

    Donna
  • Dear Betsy!
    I was interested in the part about freelance writing on subjects that were well known to you. If this life is a perpetual re-routing of brain synapses, perhaps it's time for you to jump into a totally unrelated field -- at least something diverse enough that you feel the irrepressible enthusiasm that drives you beyond your limits. Crazy love...

    Donna
  • In re-reading my post, I guess it sounds like I'm a craft burnout. "I feel like I’ve written about craft and culture and the handmade for so long, and that there’s really nothing I can do with it."

    I wrote that post so mega-frustrated! Writing about something you love and have loved for so long is even more frustrating when you start hating it... as it's what you adore and are inspired by.

    Funny thing, though, after writing this in February, I took a step back from things and reframed it all and have now channeled it in a new direction, even though at first it seems like I'm writing about the "same old" thing, crafts. I just needed to refocus my own work as and, as you said, "jump into a totally unrelated field," even though, it's only slightly different?

    And yes, I will crack the whip of optimism for you when your mornings aren't going so right. :)
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