Comments on: Afraid To Be Awesome

By: Kim Werker

Kim Werker — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 23:00:22 +0000

What a great memory to have. I mean, not that it was a shining moment, but
that you're able to carry it with you to help you combat that very tendency.
I don't have such a neat package to keep with me, but I'm with you on
fighting it every inch of the way. I'm pleased to find I'm no longer losing
a few inches for every one gained, which is a pretty huge bit of progress.
Heh.

By: Stitchy

Stitchy — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 20:52:54 +0000

Wow, you guys are really speaking my language here.

" I realized I’m not remotely afraid to fail. I am, however, painfully afraid to be awesome."
and
"Commitment and expectations, these are at the heart of it for me."

are exactly it. When I was about 10 or 12 and painfully shy, I was at an amusement park doing one of those midway games where you shoot water into a clown's mouth, racing to get your marker to move to the top of a board. I was playing against other kids my age (I didn't know them) and I was going to win. I totally had it, my aim was on and I was seconds away. Then I very purposly aimed my stream of water away from the clown's mouth.

I don't know why I did it, but I think part of it was that I didn't want anyone's attention on me. I didn't want the blinking lights and the scoffs of the other kids who lost to some loser fat girl.

I don't know exactly, but I remember that whenever I'm about to stop myself from doing something that I know I can do, even if no one else does. I still have the tendency to do it, but I fight it every inch of the way.

By: Kim Werker

Kim Werker — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 16:58:38 +0000

I certainly feel that way, too, and I hope men chime into the conversation!

By: craftivista

craftivista — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 16:45:59 +0000

I know many people who have found theswitchboards.com helpful?

I love love love the ideas of French Salons! Just like I need crafting
time with ladies, I also need "idea time," time to incubate projects
and test them out and tweak them in a safe space. I can't speak for
Kim, but I think this project was a way to start the conversation for
those of us who are freelancing or otherwise out on our own, whether
that's part-time or free-time. We're just starting, so who knows
what's possible? Is there anything in particular you'd like to cover/
brainstorm/discuss?

By: craftivista

craftivista — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 03:54:10 +0000

It's weird, isn't it? Being afraid to see how great you can be?!

Nope, you're not alone. Welcome!

By: Kim Werker

Kim Werker — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 03:41:06 +0000

For me, part of it is certainly the issue of success going hand in hand with
expectations. I have issues with expectations when they come from people who
aren't me (what stresses me out more than anything, ever? Family). And I'm
also loathe to be pigeonholed (this has been tough after working in such a
small realm as crochet for so long. I've been tempted at times to wave my
arms and scream, "I have other interests, too! I can do other things!" I've
become a *lot* more comfortable choosing not to accept others' expectations
of me, though. That's enormously freeing. Still, this issue is central.

In addition to that, I think my concern about success is the commitment of
it. I have a tendency to do things sort of on a whim, and I don't say that
to imply it's a bad thing. In fact, I like that about myself; I like that my
instinct is to try lots of things even if I haven't thought them through
entirely. But when one of those things doesn't fail, it means I need to
stick with it. That in itself isn't a bad thing at all, but it does mean
I'll have fewer resources to try other things. And having the potential to
try lots of things is at the root of what makes me happy. It's much of why I
need to be a freelancer—so I can take on lots of smaller commitments rather
than one huge one; I need that flexibility.

Yup. Commitment and expectations, these are at the heart of it for me. I
think. Hm.

By: craftivista

craftivista — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 01:36:14 +0000

It's weird, isn't it? Being afraid to see how great you can be?!

Nope, you're not alone. Welcome!

By: Kim Werker

Kim Werker — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 01:17:57 +0000

By: HilarieMae

HilarieMae — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 21:31:15 +0000

I am a total amateur at this whole freelance crafting thing, but I wondered if there is a forum of some kind, or a virtual or physical space for crafters to visit and find support/encouragement, and an opportunity to build community. I keep thinking of French Salons during the Enlightenment (I know, I know… a little abstract.), how women would gather people together for tea and conversation. In other words, they created a casual yet vital support system for those people who chose an alternative/counter-cultural lifestyle. Could we do that in a virtual sense? Would it actually meet a need that people have? Just a thought.

By: Melissa Sanders

Melissa Sanders — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 18:36:59 +0000

I'm “afraid to be awesome” as well. Sometimes I stymie myself and realize it soon after. I don't know if this is because to be successful at something can cause expectations/obligations (which I can be somewhat uncomfortable with) or if it is something else altogether. Glad to know I am not alone in this.