We all have each other

2009 July 24
tags: , , ,
by Kim Werker

Email from Kim to Betsy, 17 February 2009

YES! This is exactly it. I think fear is at the crux of the issue for everyone, even if people’s fears differ. But I think the fear of instability is common to all people who want to go independent.

I think this is why an open dialog can be so powerful. Not just because talking with people who are in the same boat can be so great, but also because, really, “independent” can mean two things: It can mean making a living for oneself on one’s own terms, but it can also mean going it alone.

It’s the alone part we can address together. Really, freelancing probably entails working with more people (and, I think, in more satisfying ways) than working a “real” job. We’re not alone.

To risk cheesiness in summing up: We all have each other.

But seriously. Businessy types call it networking; I call it collecting people. We have each other to learn from, to learn with, and to count on. It won’t pay the bills, but it can be the foundation of creating stability.

Ok, we have to do this. I don’t know why I’m caught on the idea of writing letters to each other—maybe it seems so intimate while it also tells a story.

The site could become many things; maybe the first component of it should be something like a collaborative blog. Like, “Dear Betsy, I woke up this morning with a terrible feeling of doom. I hate one of the big projects I’m working on, and am totally at a loss for what I want to do instead. I have all these ideas, but…”

If we do it, and do it honestly, I have no doubt good things will come from it, even if those good things only add up to a bunch of fun (but I think it will end up being more than fun).

What if we took the few tweets and these emails, edited them a bit, and started there?

Kim

Oh! P.S.:

I so totally hear you.

I have an internet nemesis (so I like to jokingly refer to her). Every so often she tunes into what I’m doing and rips it apart. When I announced I was leaving the magazine, she went on about how I have the luxury to not follow through on things (of course she thinks I suck and am unqualified to do those things in the first place) because I have a big mucky-muck husband to support me. Of course, my husband is in school, and has been for the last three years. I was the one doing the supporting, and when I started to be miserable at work, we sat down and figured out what I’d have to make freelancing in order for me to be able to leave my job. It turns out it wasn’t a painfully large amount of money.

But then I also ended up selling CrochetMe.com at that time, and that removed the desperation for income, for a few months at least. I certainly didn’t get rich off it, but I did buy some cushion. I wonder, though, if that cushion is a blessing and a curse. A blessing because, oh my god the luxury! But a curse because that luxury means I can do anything I want for a while. And that means I have to figure out what I want. And I want a lot of things, and I don’t know if they’re compatible. I want to write, I want to write about crafts but I also want to branch out into other topics and I haven’t figured out yet what I want those topics to be; I want to work with smart, creative people when I do whatever it is I’m going to do; I want to talk the talk of doing right by the planet, and I want the strength and conviction to walk the walk. All of that is so general! What’s my first step to be? And the tenth step? How on earth will I make a living?

Ok. Anyway.

If you want to write, don’t get a day job. Write. For you. People will listen.

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from → Fears, Planning the Blog

  • SisterDiane
    ACK! I'm just getting a chance to read all these posts. This is a fantastic conversation, and I look forward to seeing it continue.

    Mind my commenting on everything at once right here?

    This is a scary time. I've spent much of 2009 in exactly the same fears you're describing here - where's the money going to come from? How can I do what I want to do and stay afloat? And what exactly IS it that I want to do?

    I try to remember that the whole game is changing. ("Game" meaning "the craft industry, and its symbiotic cousin, the publishing industry.") Old business models are dissolving, and we can't quite see what might take their place yet.

    On the one hand, it's all freaking scary. On the other, there are no longer any rules about what you can and can't do to make a living, or any rules on how you "should" go about it. I'm trying to hold fast to that second bit as a struggle along. In times of chaos, there's infinite possibility.
  • ""In times of chaos, there's infinite possibility." I love this! And, as you
    know, I agree totally.
  • Blondechicken- this is such good advice! I get soooo consumed by the random numbers, "I just need $xyz per year and I'll be OK" and the number is always a moving target. Actually sitting down at my computer and getting a definitive number was really really comforting and quite less than I suspected.
  • carolbrowne
    I want to work with smart, creative people

    Me, too! Also, who knew you figured out how much money you'd need to get through each month. Very simple solution, but I have I ever done that? No. I just thought, "I need a lot" so I keep doing the same thing I've always done. I think I'll figure that out this weekend. That's another step in the right direction for me. A small action - but a powerful one.
  • Right on, Carol. I find that the things that stress me out the most are the
    things that are unknowns. Even if I'd discovered I'd need to make a fortune
    every month, at least then I'd *know*, you know? And there's the old
    saying—"knowing is half the battle." Heh.
  • Kim, quoting GI Joe, are we?
    It's funny, but totally true. Whenever I get freaked out that oh-my-goodness-i-quit-my-dayjob-to-do-what? I go back and run the numbers. Numbers I used to be afraid of are actually comforting.
    It's the best advice I ever received from a full-time fiber artist. EVERY week she figures out how much she needs and then she makes enough fibery stuff to fill that need. The timeline's probably different for freelance writers (you have to wait a lot longer for the check!) but thinking about it like this made it seem much more do-able.
  • sweetgeorgia
    "How on earth will I make a living?"

    Ohhh that is the crux of the issue, I think. Many mornings I wake up in cold sweat and fear of not being able to make this work. When you want to do things on your own terms and strike out independently, people always pat you on the head and say, "Do what you love and the money will come." It's not that simple.

    But whether it's networking or collecting people, it's so essential to connect with others who have been there and done that. Meeting fifteen amazingly wise and talented women this week at Earthues has been undeniably inspiring. I've met a woman who raises CVM sheep in New Hampshire, another woman who makes her own goat cheese in Idaho, another woman who designs and makes handmade naturally dyed rugs in Nepal AND teaches full-time at the university textile program, women who have been natural dyeing for thirty years now... and they are all incredibly diverse examples of living and working out their lives on their own terms.

    It's comforting to know that it can be done. I'm sure this open dialog will help collect some wisdom and experience.
  • This blog was a wonderful idea! Thank you so much for sharing it! These few words have brought me so much comfort as I try to discern where I want to head with my career. Again, thank you.
  • Since I started doing this full time (and have had the time and energy to keep up relationships with other indie people, it's amazing how much I get done and how much it has expanded my horizons. Just going to a Trade show like TNNA and bouncing ideas and feeling the creative energy of so many creative people is great. Instant feedback and having everyone else's resources also at the tips of your fingers is indispensable.
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