Tackling Mosquito Nets

2009 August 3

Email from 12 March 2009

Kim!

Hooray for still wanting to write stuff! (Ok, so I’m not very eloquent this evening.) That’s great!

And what’s even greater is that you are worried to be awesome! It seems like a problem that can easily be chipped away at… in time? Or does that sound insane? I’m “scared to fail” right now, but I’m pretty convinced it’s due directly to living in a town that’s too comfortable to be in. There’s absolutely no reason to grow or challenge yourself here*, and I’m kind of living the same life I was living here 10 years ago, which is terrifying. When I start challenging myself and moving forward, I’m that healthy kind of scared that rules, and when I sink into a rut, I become one “slack motherfucker.” (To quote a lyric that was written in this town!) [Hear it here.]

When I start moving forward, however, I get scared to be awesome. Because awesome means change, which means changing…which is LAME because change is good for us! So, we’re possibly in the very same boat, although my boat has a giant mosquito net over it that I need to tackle into submission.

I like the idea of posting the Tweets and emails and general frustrations to start out with! In PDX maybe we can find some time to suss it further out in person?! Yay! So excited! Sweet!

So when you think about it, what kind of responses would you like to have? Just curious as that brings it to a “who’s the audience? is there an audience?” level.

x
betsy

*Yes, people challenge themselves here. I love where I live. But it can be all too easy to get too comfortable somewhere. The “how” part can be a mystery, the “when” part is simple: when you stop growing, something has to change. And as for change, the “where” and “what” parts depend on “you” individually. The “why” part? Ah, there’s the rub.

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  • Yep, change is uncomfortable. It means getting out of your comfort zone. And although that might be hard for everyone, I think it may be even harder for some personalities more than others. You imagine yourself in this new persona which comes with a new set of expectations and responsibilities and you're afraid of having to keep it up and maybe not being totally comfortable with it. I'm on the reserved side but have some grand ideas that would require me to be more out there -- I'd like to shrink instead! I think it's about finding ways to be comfortable and do it your way and being yourself and think less about society's expectations.

    I like your "I become one “slack motherfucker” -- made me laugh inside!
  • Thanks for this.

    I think we often forget that while change is good, it can also be hard
    as hell.

    And being on the cusp of change you feel like you have a foot in each
    world, with both of them calling you. And we all know, deep down, we
    want to take that chance/opportunity/change. We just want someone to
    push us, when to be done right, we gotta take that step ourselves.

    I think sometimes our reverence of change sometimes keep us from
    reaching for it?
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