Hey there!

Can I just say that I love the fact that you “barf out” stuff! I do, too, and it just feels so damn good to get it OUT and down on paper/screen!

Glad to hear the writing switch flipped! In one of her books, Natalie Goldberg talks about “filtering” (I’ll have to find this quote now that I think about it*), how things happen and they are stored in your brain but they have to stay up there and be processed and mixed in with memories and new experiences so they can then be spit out in the written word. I like the idea of thoughts and ideas kicking around in your brain until they’re just right. That being said, I need to learn more control of my writing this year. Ever get those moments when it’s kind of like a wild horse running and bucking all over the place? My problem isn’t so much about giant leaps, it’s about keeping a train of thought and not writing about this one time when I was trying to catch a chicken and then wrapping up with my favorite type of coffee mug. I guess we should be thankful, though, that the flip switches on at all?! (Why do I suddenly feel geriatric?)

You can still write when you’re traveling! Just keep a notebook handy and write down snippets to capture later. I also like the days when I’m not writing and come up with phrases or ideas (when I wrote short stories, it used to be dialogue!) and have some time to kind of play with them a bit in my head. Traveling is so good for reframing your thoughts and references and habits, it will be great! I also like having my camera to get shots of tiny details that the trip brings.

Sorry this is all so disjointed, I’m sleepy so I’m a bit more all-over-the-place trying to make sure I don’t forget what I was going to say…which officially means I need to go get some sleep now.

More soon.

xo
betsy

*I found it. And oops! She actually calls it “composting” on page 14 in Writing Down the Bones: “Our senses by themselves are dumb. They take in experience, but they need the richness of sifting for a while through our consciousness and through our whole bodies. I call this “composting.” Our bodies are garbage heaps: we collect experience, and from the decomposition of the thrown-out eggshells, spinach leaves, coffee grinds, and old steak bones of our minds come nitrogen, heat, and very fertile soil. Out of this fertile soil bloom our poems and stories. But this does not come all at once. It takes time. Continue to turn over and over the organic details of your life until some of them fall through the garbage of discursive thoughts to the solid ground of black soil.” This to me, is the very heart of all creativity.

Hi you,

A wee quickie of an email; more later.

First, I’m so excited for your Africa trip*! Both, you know, for you, and also for what will come out of it! I have no idea of the magazine world beyond crafts, but what about Ms.? Or other women-centred pubs? Of course, I think this should have reach far beyond women-centric audiences. I mean, why not go big? NY Times? Good? Ooh, yeah, what about Good? They’re hands down my favourite magazine these days**, though I don’t think they do series and they rarely go very long… Hm.

Second, I’m flattered your impression of me is lumped with yours (and mine) of Diane, but I’m afraid I’m hardly organized nor remarkably productive. I have a need to barf out stuff that’s on my mind, though, which might lead you to the impression I get a lot done. Mostly I think a lot about getting things done, and about things in general. I’m actually working on allowing myself to recognize all that pondering as productive, but it’s a good week when I get actual things done on more than one project. Really, I’m also working on arranging things in my life so it’s okay for me to only pay attention to the things that are really burning my ass at any given moment. For example, this week is pretty much all copyright all the time***, and I feel good about that even though I’m neglecting other pots I have on low-heat burners. I do think Diane gets an enormous amount of work done, and I’m in awe of her for it. I don’t know if it’s realistic for me to achieve such productivity, which is something that concerns me about crafting a livelihood for myself. Ah, and we’re back to those fears. Heh.

Wow, look at me being brief!

Ok, I do need to shower and get a move on today. This copyright thing is making me happy in so many ways and I have a crapload of audio editing to do today.

I’m so excited about our project!

xoxo
Kim

* See Betsy’s note at the end of her last post.
** I still love Good, but these days I’m most excited about a mag I haven’t actually laid hands on yet; I’m awaiting my first issue of Uppercase.
*** I was working on a podcast about copyright and craft patterns. Not long after I wrote this email to Betsy my brain exploded due to the enormity of the topic. I put the podcast on the far back burner, but have not abandoned it. In fact, I’ve been chipping away at it from different angles. Eventually I might even have something to show for it.

Kim,

Aw, shucks. Glad to hear I don’t sound like a raving loon or something. It’s ironic that I get worried about voicing my insecurities even when I know everyone has them and that they should be voiced!

So yes, let’s go for it! I think that the internet is one of those things where we’re all so concerned about perception and best foot forward as once it’s online it’s public domain, but I think it leaves out a lot of the human experience that way. Not in a sniveling neurotic whiny way, but dude, life is full of unknowns and adventures and new things, not just happy-clappy support kind of things…. which the internet can sometimes seem to solely be.

As a social science nerd, I’m big on seeing how people react and absorb new ideas and new projects, so starting a project without being 100% about where it goes sounds so lovely! And what can I do to help you with all of this? Can I help you with the domain cost? Maintenance? Anything? Lemme know! And crap! I need to get you some sort of bio!

Oh, and how the hell are you?! How’s life been over the past few weeks? New projects? Ideas? Wonderfulness?!

Am off to work, but a few questions I have for you:

1. How do you keep all your different projects separate and forward moving at the same time? I need to figure out a better system at keeping several balls in the air as there are so many different projects I’m working on, but sometimes it’s hard to move forward on some when I’m worried about the other ones? You (and Diane) both seem to be masterminds at this, so if you have any secrets, lemme know! :)

2. So, this whole Africa thing.* I need to figure out who to pitch the story to. I know this story is totally pitchable, and I’d like to pitch it to a mag or paper that will be able to pay enough that I won’t totally lose my shirt for the trip (although I know no one’s going to cover all of it! Ha!) Do you have any ideas of peeps or places I could contact?

More later.
xo
betsy

*There was a period of 24 hours where I was going to accompany some people to Africa for a documentary film. Those 24 hours were AWESOME. Everything was fine, then some space logistics for the van got in the way. But what’s the first thing to keep in mind about freelance? It’s often unpredictable. Am sad that I wasn’t able to go to Kenya, but who knows what could happen in the future?

Kim!

Hooray for still wanting to write stuff! (Ok, so I’m not very eloquent this evening.) That’s great!

And what’s even greater is that you are worried to be awesome! It seems like a problem that can easily be chipped away at… in time? Or does that sound insane? I’m “scared to fail” right now, but I’m pretty convinced it’s due directly to living in a town that’s too comfortable to be in. There’s absolutely no reason to grow or challenge yourself here*, and I’m kind of living the same life I was living here 10 years ago, which is terrifying. When I start challenging myself and moving forward, I’m that healthy kind of scared that rules, and when I sink into a rut, I become one “slack motherfucker.” (To quote a lyric that was written in this town!) [Hear it here.]

When I start moving forward, however, I get scared to be awesome. Because awesome means change, which means changing…which is LAME because change is good for us! So, we’re possibly in the very same boat, although my boat has a giant mosquito net over it that I need to tackle into submission.

I like the idea of posting the Tweets and emails and general frustrations to start out with! In PDX maybe we can find some time to suss it further out in person?! Yay! So excited! Sweet!

So when you think about it, what kind of responses would you like to have? Just curious as that brings it to a “who’s the audience? is there an audience?” level.

x
betsy

*Yes, people challenge themselves here. I love where I live. But it can be all too easy to get too comfortable somewhere. The “how” part can be a mystery, the “when” part is simple: when you stop growing, something has to change. And as for change, the “where” and “what” parts depend on “you” individually. The “why” part? Ah, there’s the rub.